March, 30th, 2005 Wednesday

it seems like i've been walking right into the wall far too many times...how many more obstacles are there ahead of me? one? two? a dozen? a hundred? a million? i don't know. sometimes i felt like giving up altogether. someone seems to be playing some kind of sick jokes on me for far too long. and i seriously don't think its funny. nothing comes smoothly for me in my life. maybe, that'll make me cherish what stays with me eventually. and nothing comes fair for me either, misjudged, misunderstood, neglected. and maybe that'll make me understand the meaning of living even more. and i just hope that someday, somewhere, someone would understand jerry more.....