July, 1st, 2005 Friday
The Freaksville Five
Okay, its been sometime since I post something about bodybuilding. and can see each and everyone of you FreakyJerry wannabes coping with the addiction of my articles and pics. I laid off from bodybuilding for sometime and some reasons, but I'm making a quick come back so you assclowns woudn't be disappointed.
Amazingly, without all the protein, low Gi carbs, supplements, 8 meals a day, and balls to the wall training, my awesome physique still holds. I don't know why, but I think its the superior genetics I have. Don't blame me, don't even blame yourself, just put the bloody blame on your parents and fore fathers. Below are some sick freak routines if you assclowns(ie; yaokun, kangming) wanna be like me. okay yaokun I know, you would be complaining like a girl that you have abs, c'mon faggot, besides abs, the rest of your body looks like whats left in the toilet bowl after squatting from a terrible stomach upset. yeah....go ahead and whine...curse and swear....thats what a girl like you would do...
Thats me, your Mr Perfect. This snapshot was taken in the gym by one of my female fans using her lousy cell phone. She was caught red handed by me and only agreed to surrender me this pic after I gave her my sweaty gym towel with my autograph on it. She went totally berserk after I hand her the towel...........
This is the Freaksville Five....
Deadlift
Get up, get low and yank that bitch off the floor. The deadlift is as bare bones and as point blank as it gets. You think you're strong? Prove it. A bodybuilding staple born out of its powerlifting roots, the deadlift is no pretty boy exercise. It makes you strain and grit your teeth… It causes you to spit and curse… It beats you to a pulp and leaves you sore for days. Include a few sets of these back busters at the beginning or end of your next back session and witness their physique altering effects. Blasting the lumbars, lats, rhomboids, traps, glutes, hammies, abs, bis and forearms, the deadlift is simply too powerful a movement to ignore.
Squat
It takes a rare breed to stand up to adversity, to carry the weight of the world across your shoulders and rise to the occasion. The squat is the personification of the human struggle. Man conquering the elements, raw strength in its purest form. The human body must struggle to properly execute the squat while still being able to walk upright the next day. The muscle groups of the upper torso unite to support the loaded barbell--the ironclad union of the delts, traps, lats and arms work to lock the weight into place. The lower back and abs protect the core against the crushing weight above. The quads and hammies steady the weight as the descent begins. In the depths of the hole, the glutes initiate the explosion that sends the load skyward. At the top the quads fire on all pistons as the weight is squeezed to lockout. The grittiest of the hardcore the squat'll grow every inch of you.
Pullover
You say you wanna be thick assclowns? This is your exercise. Grab a meaty dumbbell and lay across a bench, placing your shoulders and neck on the pad. Holding it with both hands, and keeping your arms relatively straight, lower the dumbbell behind your head and focus on the massive stretch as it takes your breath away. Raise the dumbbell slowly until it is suspended perilously above your mug and contract every muscle in your torso. Upper pecs, lats, serratus, abs and tris, this overlooked sick movement tears down the house. Overlooked for far too long, dumbbell pullovers deserve their moment in the sun.
Bench
PressLike fighting against an elephant sitting on your chest, the bench press requires every ounce of effort the Animal can muster. You've got two options: push back or get pancaked. This sort of life or death struggle yields big results: a densely armored breastplate, with shelf-like upper pecs and lower pecs that are so thick and heavy that they fold over. Not to mention front delts that pop and ham hocks for triceps. You have to do them right, however, or they'll do you wrong. Bring it or don't bother benching at all. Screw the ego pressing of the halfwits in your hood, these bad boys must be done properly. Hold the weight at arms' length and control that shit. Lower the bar slowly and under control, like a spring being compressed. At the bottom explode out of the pit and drive towards the ceiling. Squeeze your pecs into lockout, envisioning juicing a grapefruit. Prioritize these on chest day and watch your pecs blow the fuck up.
Shrug
Nothing says power like big fucking traps, which most of you assclowns lack off, unlike me. For a movement with one of the shortest ranges of motion, the shrug pays huge dividends. Knotting yourself into a heaving ball of muscle, the shrug makes you appear to be growing even as you perform the exercise. Nothing short of all out effort can be tolerated with shrugs, which can be executed in a number of different fashions, standard barbell, behind the back barbell, dumbbell, all to the benefit of your overall physique. Blasting your traps, delts and forearms simultaneously, dedication to hardcore shrugging over time will make it appear that your head is simply sitting directly atop gigantic traps. Screw it, having a neck is overrated any damn way.
There you have it assclowns, the Freaksville Five. Do it and don't you whine.
Okay, its been sometime since I post something about bodybuilding. and can see each and everyone of you FreakyJerry wannabes coping with the addiction of my articles and pics. I laid off from bodybuilding for sometime and some reasons, but I'm making a quick come back so you assclowns woudn't be disappointed.
Amazingly, without all the protein, low Gi carbs, supplements, 8 meals a day, and balls to the wall training, my awesome physique still holds. I don't know why, but I think its the superior genetics I have. Don't blame me, don't even blame yourself, just put the bloody blame on your parents and fore fathers. Below are some sick freak routines if you assclowns(ie; yaokun, kangming) wanna be like me. okay yaokun I know, you would be complaining like a girl that you have abs, c'mon faggot, besides abs, the rest of your body looks like whats left in the toilet bowl after squatting from a terrible stomach upset. yeah....go ahead and whine...curse and swear....thats what a girl like you would do...
Thats me, your Mr Perfect. This snapshot was taken in the gym by one of my female fans using her lousy cell phone. She was caught red handed by me and only agreed to surrender me this pic after I gave her my sweaty gym towel with my autograph on it. She went totally berserk after I hand her the towel...........
This is the Freaksville Five....
Deadlift
Get up, get low and yank that bitch off the floor. The deadlift is as bare bones and as point blank as it gets. You think you're strong? Prove it. A bodybuilding staple born out of its powerlifting roots, the deadlift is no pretty boy exercise. It makes you strain and grit your teeth… It causes you to spit and curse… It beats you to a pulp and leaves you sore for days. Include a few sets of these back busters at the beginning or end of your next back session and witness their physique altering effects. Blasting the lumbars, lats, rhomboids, traps, glutes, hammies, abs, bis and forearms, the deadlift is simply too powerful a movement to ignore.
Squat
It takes a rare breed to stand up to adversity, to carry the weight of the world across your shoulders and rise to the occasion. The squat is the personification of the human struggle. Man conquering the elements, raw strength in its purest form. The human body must struggle to properly execute the squat while still being able to walk upright the next day. The muscle groups of the upper torso unite to support the loaded barbell--the ironclad union of the delts, traps, lats and arms work to lock the weight into place. The lower back and abs protect the core against the crushing weight above. The quads and hammies steady the weight as the descent begins. In the depths of the hole, the glutes initiate the explosion that sends the load skyward. At the top the quads fire on all pistons as the weight is squeezed to lockout. The grittiest of the hardcore the squat'll grow every inch of you.
Pullover
You say you wanna be thick assclowns? This is your exercise. Grab a meaty dumbbell and lay across a bench, placing your shoulders and neck on the pad. Holding it with both hands, and keeping your arms relatively straight, lower the dumbbell behind your head and focus on the massive stretch as it takes your breath away. Raise the dumbbell slowly until it is suspended perilously above your mug and contract every muscle in your torso. Upper pecs, lats, serratus, abs and tris, this overlooked sick movement tears down the house. Overlooked for far too long, dumbbell pullovers deserve their moment in the sun.
Bench
PressLike fighting against an elephant sitting on your chest, the bench press requires every ounce of effort the Animal can muster. You've got two options: push back or get pancaked. This sort of life or death struggle yields big results: a densely armored breastplate, with shelf-like upper pecs and lower pecs that are so thick and heavy that they fold over. Not to mention front delts that pop and ham hocks for triceps. You have to do them right, however, or they'll do you wrong. Bring it or don't bother benching at all. Screw the ego pressing of the halfwits in your hood, these bad boys must be done properly. Hold the weight at arms' length and control that shit. Lower the bar slowly and under control, like a spring being compressed. At the bottom explode out of the pit and drive towards the ceiling. Squeeze your pecs into lockout, envisioning juicing a grapefruit. Prioritize these on chest day and watch your pecs blow the fuck up.
Shrug
Nothing says power like big fucking traps, which most of you assclowns lack off, unlike me. For a movement with one of the shortest ranges of motion, the shrug pays huge dividends. Knotting yourself into a heaving ball of muscle, the shrug makes you appear to be growing even as you perform the exercise. Nothing short of all out effort can be tolerated with shrugs, which can be executed in a number of different fashions, standard barbell, behind the back barbell, dumbbell, all to the benefit of your overall physique. Blasting your traps, delts and forearms simultaneously, dedication to hardcore shrugging over time will make it appear that your head is simply sitting directly atop gigantic traps. Screw it, having a neck is overrated any damn way.
There you have it assclowns, the Freaksville Five. Do it and don't you whine.
posted by Freakazoid at 5:02 AM
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