July, 12th, 2005 Tuesday(12:01am....)

Strength lies in those who would not look away from truth

Just as I had predicted with my super psychic powers, Ms Yaokun had showed its petty gay instincts again by whining, cursing and calling me bad names in his totally sick and low class blog. But its all okay, I shall not be angry with a little girl like him.

Had been trying hard to get back to the old form of mine. did pretty well for the week before last, but not until last tuesday, where the hardcore weight heaving machine broke down. I literally threw out everything I ate on monday night. I was running a fever and felt horribly weak. It was a blow for me as I was gaining back the form and size, but thats just another sick joke that had to be played on me. someone just wanna nail me to the ground.

But I was unrelenting, I stuffed myself with protein and carbs on wednesday and not realising I was still having the disgesting problem, I felt fucking bloated. The worse thing was I couldnt train. I was just too bloated and and head grew heavy.



I eventually made myself rest till friday until I was able to meet my old friends again, the rusty dumbells....
didnt had a good pump though cos I was still pretty nutrient depleted. But I still managed to get some blood into the damn biceps and triceps.

So from all these shit things that happened, I have realised that I should never be a person to run between the rain drops. I had figured out that we all need to get a little wet from time to time. This world, is made of dust and water, diamonds and rocks. It is wonderfully ridiculous and supremely sublime, all at once.

This life... It's everything and it's nothing at the same time. It's beautiful and disgusting and that's pretty much okay. It's messy, it's nasty and lowdown, and that’s okay too. Damn. It's all okay. It's okay because all these elements have a distinct and necessary purpose in this realm, in this freaking world, and in our lives. You have to be willing to accept the dirt if you want the diamonds.

There is life and there is death and I know that my time will come too, and for me, that’s okay. Truly there are many, many wonders to behold in this world, but can there possibly be more wonderful than our own lives? To walk, run, swim, drive, even to fly… All we need do is simply conceive of these notions and then act them out. The wonders are part of the mundane. Wait… Are we onto something here? To think, to conceive, and then to act. This process is simply amazing.

I say this because the simplicity of the concept is so obvious, it often eludes even the most wise of us. The first step of any journey is the most difficult. It is also the most exciting. We come from dust but we can shape diamonds. Our bodies are fragile yet we push through pain and disability, through triumph and defeat. Our minds are cluttered, and yet we create beautiful objects and art. We are the underdogs of the universe, and we will beat back the shadow of our mortality with defiance and rage. We will fly forth with swarming energy and one resolve. We will not be forgotten… Strength lies in those who would not look away from truth. We are, we will be, and we must remain. Some of us will shine, but if it's all the same to you, I prefer to rust. Rage and focus be your guide. We will find our place my friend.