July, 20th, 2005 Wednesday(11:44pm....)
pain; a state of physical, emotional, or mental lack of well-being or physical, emotional, or mental uneasiness that ranges from mild discomfort or dull distress to acute often unbearable agony, may be generalized or localized, and is the consequence of being injured or hurt physically or mentally or of some derangement of or lack of equilibrium in the physical or mental functions and that usually produces a reaction of wanting to avoid, escape, or destroy the causative factor and its effects.
and how would you define pain? to me, pain has taken its extreme measures on me, till pain become numb.
physical pain. i took it to the extreme. no physical pain has been able to put me down, not till now. Pain; I tore my ligament completely off from the thigh bone and shin bone, and I managed to limp all the way home. Pain; I plunged a german fillet knife right into my palm, I literally saw the flesh, blood and bone, wrap it with a towel with blood oozing out profusely and got myself to sew it up at a clinic without anesthetic. Pain; I broke my ribcage, I almost couldnt breathe, its just the damn bar and me. I still rep out heavy sets of bench till i felt it moving. Now tell me what is pain.
Ive been taking physical pain so well. never would I realise that I still loose the battle with emotional pain. it almost pushed me to the point of insanity, to the point of losing my soul. those pain, I really couldnt find enough words to describe them. I dont know how to take them, i dont know how to take the pain. I just couldnt summon enough energy to fight it. I am always losing. I bared all the faults and mistakes that wasnt mine, and still, i couldnt keep it from coming. time and again, you have to bring things to the extreme, you have to bring upon the pain. you inflict those excrutiating pain and got away everytime, leaving me wounded time and again. I dont know till which day, would I be awaken from my dreams that be it wide awake or dreaming, you are never there for me. your words, as though they were knives slashing mercilessly on my heart, your actions, as though kerosense, setting the flames and burning me alive. do you know how unbearable it was, i think you will never know.
you have to hurt me, you have to. time and again, time and again. what have i done to deserve this, i really could find no answer. Now please tell me how to deal with this pain....
and how would you define pain? to me, pain has taken its extreme measures on me, till pain become numb.
physical pain. i took it to the extreme. no physical pain has been able to put me down, not till now. Pain; I tore my ligament completely off from the thigh bone and shin bone, and I managed to limp all the way home. Pain; I plunged a german fillet knife right into my palm, I literally saw the flesh, blood and bone, wrap it with a towel with blood oozing out profusely and got myself to sew it up at a clinic without anesthetic. Pain; I broke my ribcage, I almost couldnt breathe, its just the damn bar and me. I still rep out heavy sets of bench till i felt it moving. Now tell me what is pain.
Ive been taking physical pain so well. never would I realise that I still loose the battle with emotional pain. it almost pushed me to the point of insanity, to the point of losing my soul. those pain, I really couldnt find enough words to describe them. I dont know how to take them, i dont know how to take the pain. I just couldnt summon enough energy to fight it. I am always losing. I bared all the faults and mistakes that wasnt mine, and still, i couldnt keep it from coming. time and again, you have to bring things to the extreme, you have to bring upon the pain. you inflict those excrutiating pain and got away everytime, leaving me wounded time and again. I dont know till which day, would I be awaken from my dreams that be it wide awake or dreaming, you are never there for me. your words, as though they were knives slashing mercilessly on my heart, your actions, as though kerosense, setting the flames and burning me alive. do you know how unbearable it was, i think you will never know.
you have to hurt me, you have to. time and again, time and again. what have i done to deserve this, i really could find no answer. Now please tell me how to deal with this pain....
posted by Freakazoid at 11:40 PM
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