January, 30th, 2006 Monday

恭喜发财！

yay....its chinese new year again...yay...can eat alot again...yay...happy like fuck again......enjoy your new year everybody!!!

January, 22nd, 2006 Sunday

The whole of last week was fucking crappy. Time during work seemed to be frozen. Every damn minute seemed like an hour. Well, maybe it was the withdrawal symptoms from the ' every week got one holiday' mood. cos the past freaking 3 weeks we have to work for only 4 days per week!

ok, enough of whinning around. Friday was fun as me and my colleagues have some after work activities. the only spoiling part was the freaking manager was joining us...... we ate jap food and went for a session of bowling. yes. you didn't heard me wrong. BOWLING. I think I am better at removing bowels rather than bowling. Damn. I couldn't even find a ball that fits my fingers. and all the damn balls seemed too light.

You know, you should have seen me bowl. I made grass filed obselete for shot putting. Now you can shot put indoors! ahaha.. just crapping around... I was so damn bad in the game that I lost to a female colleague who played it for the first time. and I felt like killing myself. I felt so damn bloody tired of the stupid game that I released the damn ball so forcefully that it striked the pins, hit the barrier behind the pins and bounced back right into the bowling lane. my colleagues couldn't believe what they had witness and all of them was soon found hugging their own abdomen and laughing their silly heads off (this includes the female colleague and my boss).

Today is rather crappy too. felt weak but still dragged my ass into the gym to squat the hell outta myself. the squats went really deep and rock bottom today. it felt great but not the last set. I was stuck at the bottom of the 1st rep. and i thought i ripped my glutes apart.... the legs now are fried..won't be able to walk properly tomorrow for sure....

Read somethin' in the net just now, was is something so real, was really cool. those who are hardcore trainers will appreciate and understand this funny article;

"Being a bodybuilder, while no doubt one of the nobler and more challenging endeavors in athletic culture, has some drawbacks--many of which are comical to the inhabitants of normal society. Just some of the little things can prove to be a pain in the arse. Dressing oneself can be taxing. For example, taking a tight t-shirt off can be an awkward looking struggle. Also, fixing your collar or tying a tie… Not so easy. Sometimes bending over to put on your shoes can provide a nice little head rush. With the constant influx of nutrients often to the point of force feeding also comes consequences. Eating and drinking like a bodybuilder brings with it the enjoyable frequent bathroom trips, gaseousness and the fun little stuff like having your butthole bleed from frequent wiping—always a good time. There are the little joys, like having to ball up your pillows into twisted knots in order to compensate for the extra distance between your shoulder and your head when laying on your side or waking up with your arms numb from cutting off your circulation with your own mass while you sleep—nothing as pleasurable as the fleeting sensation of dead limbs. These are some tiny insights… Bizarre, often inexplicable occurrences in the bodybuilder’s daily life. Insanity. But there is a thin line between the insane and the genius, between the profane and the divine."

January, 13th, 2006 Friday

要伤心多久我才能看透

离开你多久手才会放松

是否我在你的心里还有一点痛

爱情随风 心彻底放纵 让自己疯

还隐隐作痛

还记得你笑容

这回忆多么沉重宁愿没有过

还隐隐作痛

还看见你放手

这回忆多麽美丽刺痛我心头 我心头

January, 9th, 2006 Monday

[mOt-&-'vA-sh-n]

Into the second week of 2006 and things are sorta getting good for me. projects after projects for me to bury my damn head in and make a mark for myself this year. I see it as a challenge, a chance to prove my ability again ans make 'em choke.

I heard many clowns making resolutions after resolutions and never fullfiling them. c'mon be realistic. have dreams, but realistic dreams. i don't fucking make resolutions. i don't need them. the only thing in life now to me is to live life the way i want it to be and no more living to other's expectations, not anymore.

I don't need any form of external source of motivation. I self-motivate. People who really know me well knows I'm a player in this game. I can fucking self motivate myself till the extend my friends call me psycho. I'm not psychotic. Its a display of will power. Anyone can, if they have enough will power. so, screw all those fuck shit motivation talks and seminars. I don't need others to tell me how I should live my life.

We are all born with a certain amount of weight to drag around. Some pull more than others. Some get dragged down and never have a chance to grow strong. Others are surrounded by a good team and given the tools they need to survive. Sometimes you can slide through certain situations using wit and reason. Other times you have to fucking throw down to get a little respect and elbow room.

No one can make right the wrongs done to you, and no one cares to even if they could. C'mon, we all have motivation, after all, no one could get out of bed in the morning without it. The real question is, motivation to accomplish what?